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Contemplating Cacti

by Shawn Waggoner

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1.
Break Me 05:14
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Break Me Treading water Running to stand still Under a streetlight On top of a hill I can’t see out but you can see in Tell me how do I feel Where have I been Bless me, for I know how to sin Undress me, watch me spill my skin Shake me, I’ve been asleep for too long Break me, I’m tired of being this strong Empty jar, firefly Silence in glass Cigarette at the bus stop Raining on my chance Tell me what are you thinking as you walk away Turn around, look at me Stop playing games Dead-end Outskirts Nobody home Whisper a Secret Cut to the bone COPYRIGHT 1999 Shawn Waggoner
2.
Green Barn 05:44
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Green Barn I feel so lonely still I want to be alone Cause tonight I just can’t stop myself; I’m going down I know where I’m headed is not where I should be And I can’t help but think you could have been a better friend to me I get in my truck and drive out of town I smell rain in the air, man, it’s coming down On the other side of the field by the old green barn I pull up in front, turn the lights out, but leave the radio on The dust explodes where each raindrop falls I wish this wind would pick me up, barn and all And when it set us back down the story begins Only this time I get to be who I really am What does it take to make a life ring true Can you live not knowing; I think some people do But they know something I don’t, and that aint saying much I consider the source to be out of touch I know it’s wrong but I wish I would die And return as a storm that could bring down the sky Over this old green barn, where once we both stood And I’d know what I was here for, that I’d done good COPYRIGHT 1999 SHAWN WAGGONER
3.
Indigo 04:14
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Indigo Indigo Indigo Cool blue haze Empty frozen gaze Free falling to the bottom Floating to the top Disconnected, uncontrolled If only it would stop Indigo Indigo Heavy fog Breathing is so very hard Smothered, alone by so many sins unatoned No proof of anything No hope, surrender Hide from the past Forget to remember Indigo Indigo Deep in the blue Reaching out to you Sinking shoulders disappear Calling out your name Silent scream, quiet tear No one else to blame Indigo Nothing solid Water serves as my ground No smell, no taste No sound Time washes over days and days of pain Disguises it well, like a raindrop in the rain COPYRIGHT 1999 SHAWN WAGGONER
4.
16 06:02
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16 I've worn your love under my sleeve in my skin, a tattoo of a girl who wants to sing again To let it be, you can't be free so I'll just be a heart-shaped box made to hold your memories The knife that cuts the ties that bind us has two sides But what I see I'm looking at through your blue eyes And I believed what came too early had to die When I was 16 I look for you on crowded streets, in ticket lines Everything and nothing has changed with time When he kissed me were your lips the ones I kissed When he left me were you the one I really missed If I awoke from a dream and found you there I wonder if, to yourself, you could compare About these worries as sure as stone I didn't care When I was 16 COPYRIGHT 1999 SHAWN WAGGONER
5.
Sunset Gun 05:45
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Sunset Gun He took what he wanted and left you for dead And my love can't erase what was done, what was said You told me your story, why you wanted to run, But I set you free with my sunset gun Black as a bible Red as the blood that flows through the valleys like the flash of a flood A murder of crows blocks the sinking sun that shone through the smoke of my sunset gun The hatchet fell swiftly, the justice of men found me and bound me, determined my end From the jail cell that holds me awake in the night I hear your cries, and I know I was right As children we ran through the orchards at dawn And I love you my sister from here and beyond A woman of honor, of great strength and pride By taking that from you he was asking to die In my final hour we walked in the sun And I spoke not a word of my sunset gun When I turned loose your hand I felt a glimmer of hope That I'll hold in my heart as I swing from their rope COPYRIGHT 1999 SHAWN WAGGONER
6.
Angel of Murder 03:31
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Angel of Murder Your sinful gaze sends me to my knees And your hot sugar kisses leave me begging please You come on like a saint, but you’re a devil in red You’re throwing dirt on my grave, and I aint even dead You’re killing me with your evil ways But I want you so bad I’d crawl into my grave Angel of Murder I’m your homicide You stole my soul, and the best of me died Angel of Murder, your halo is stained And those wings on your back are starting to sag with the strain What once was heaven, now is hell And my only relief is a coffin nail Angel of Murder Angel of Murder Angel of Murder Your love is killing me I don’t want to want you but I can’t let you go Angel of Murder don’t you kill me so slow Kill me fast, go on and kill me right Let the ravens fly in the pale moonlight Angel of Murder, my number is up I’m checking out, I’m biting the dust The R.I.P. on my cold tombstone will say “Angel of Murder Sends Another One Home” Angel of Murder Angel of Murder Angel of Murder Your love will be the death of me COPYRIGHT 1999 SHAWN WAGGONER
7.
Bubble Girl 04:31
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Bubble Girl Time is a circle Life in the round Memories choke me And I'm going down down All of these people going somewhere And I'm just sitting here watching them run And I'm just sitting here coming undone Cause I'm a girl in a bubble A convex shell Girl in a bubble Iridescent hell Girl in a bubble Bubbles are I Girl in a bubble I can't even cry, cry, cry Here in the bubble Things never change Abundance of silence Except when I scream scream All of these people going nowhere And I'm just sitting here cause I can't find the door I'm just sitting here cause I’ve been there before The great unknown The sad unloved The pitied look I've had enough Throw a rock Break my shell Let me out I won't tell COPYRIGHT 1999 SHAWN WAGGONER
8.
Joan 04:05
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Joan I’m leaving in the twilight Leaving in the twilight Like a tumbleweed down a dusty trail A solider says a fond farewell Like a stormcloud causes a stream to swell I say good-bye And I’m leaving in the twilight Leaving in the twilight Like a dandelion blowing in the wind A candle flickers when it’s reached the end Like autumn leaves at summer’s end I say good-bye And I’m leaving in the twilight Leaving in the twilight Well I can’t stay with you no more And I can’t fight this fight no more And I don’t know what I’m good for So I say good-bye And I’m leaving in the twilight Leaving in the twilight Leaving in the twilight COPYRIGHT 1999 SHAWN WAGGONER
9.
Blame it on Delores 04:36
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Blame it on Delores She spends her days at the rifle range where she always falls apart Imagines the slow motion entry of a bullet through her heart Like bullets and brambles she got under your flesh And she tore through your body till there wasn’t nothing left But what you’re giving me And that’s all you have left So blame it on Delores that I can’t love you enough I guess life without her is just a little too rough She was like a gypsy’s fiddle ‘round a mountain fire You stepped up to the flame, you were mesmerized by her Though she wasn’t waiting for you but the end of the world She gave her hidden heart to you like a precious pearl Yours at last It couldn’t last So blame it on Delores It’s been her fault all along It only makes sense now that everything is gone You look weathered by her storm As sure as a river rises she did roam She left your heart in such a mess How you’d recover is anybody’s guess And it wasn’t love you felt for me It was dejavu And I can only see Delores when I look at you I can’t look at you Don’t want to look at you So blame it on Delores Blame it on the night It doesn’t really matter You’ll never make it right You’ll never make it right You’ll never make it right COPYRIGHT 1999 SHAWN WAGGONER
10.
Can't Turn Loose 04:22
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Can’t Turn Loose I’m always the last one at the party The sun comes up and I stumble home alone I’ve never understood the simple grace of being the first to go The last words I hear are never my own And I can’t turn loose I can’t turn loose I can turn around in circles I can twist like a knife But I can’t turn loose In my dream your car tears down the highway I’m caught in your door and my body’s dragging alongside I look up just long enough to see what’s holding me in there And my hands are clenched tightly to your side And I can’t turn loose I can’t turn loose I can turn back to find you I can turn down a drink but I can’t turn loose If you turned over a new leaf I’d go ahead and turn the other cheek Turn over in my grave Turn to the next page But I turn the key and lock the door Turn the corner I can’t see you anymore Turn a whiter shade of pale Turn a lie to a fairytale but I..... I can turn back the hands of time Turn a dollar to a lousy dime Turn tricks in the holy light of God Turn out to be a weak fraud But I can’t turn loose I can’t turn loose COPYRIGHT 1999 Shawn Waggoner
11.
The Ragged End of Nowhere 07:21
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The Ragged End of Nowhere Fall into sorrow Believe in your own lies Betray all you've become And all you love will pay the price Pay the price Bathe in angelic light Quench your barren soul A tattered and ragged end begins to unfold Cease. Your will to live falters in an empty life Surrender all you are And all you love will pay the price Pay the price Caress the velvet hand, black as your faithless heart The boundless and empty end A story torn apart Alter immortality Traitor to your own eyes Destroy all you could be and all you love will pay the price Pay the price A final vast expanse You called it a night At the ragged end of nowhere you gave up the fight At the ragged end of nowhere you faded out of sight... COPYRIGHT 1999 SHAWN WAGGONER

about

In a nod to Bruce Springsteen's most popular recording, Contemplating Cacti has been referred to as "the female Nebraska." This cd makes its mark on the Americana genre by contrasting a traditional Texas sound with a haunting and longing edge. This self-produced first effort goes beyond the typical country/folk format to find an audience in folk listeners as well as fans of Emilou Harris’ Wrecking Ball, Nirvana Unplugged and Mazzy Star.
From entrancing story songs like Blame it on Delores and Sunset Gun to the poetic canvas of songs like The Ragged End of Nowhere and Indigo, lyrics and melody weave a dark and mesmerizing tale. But what makes Contemplating Cacti unforgettable is the vocal work of Shawn Waggoner. With intensity, dynamics and riveting emotion, Waggoner tells her stories with passion, leaving the listener spellbound. In combination with a Daniel Lanois style of production, this collection of songs is unforgettable and undeniably unique.

credits

released September 9, 1999

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Shawn Waggoner Colorado

Shawn Waggoner began her music career in Austin, as the lead singer of the successful blues band, Blue Recluse. In '97, the band went on hiatus and Waggoner composed songs for her first cd, Contemplating Cacti. With a new focus on original, acoustic music, Waggoner teamed up with bassist David Farrell for three more cds. Each made its mark on the alternative-folk and Americana genres. ... more

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